Making Time

I’m in the middle of moving. Next month, I’ll be doing the big move to my new home that is a bit closer to the coast and the beach. Not much but I’ve started calling it my own little beach house.

But moving is stressful. The past couple of weeks have been fraught with anxiety and stress. This is due to a couple of issues with the scale of the upcoming move, trying to figure out things, and just figure out where to start. There have been nights where I’ve had trouble sleeping and trying to keep my head straight.

After running some errands this morning and dropping by the new home, I decided to explore and revisit some old restaurants that I used to frequent about five years ago. Nothing crazy.

I didn’t stay long; just enough to have two drinks and some fish tacos for lunch. During that time, I felt myself awash with memories of being their 5 years prior, trying to take in the moment, and just be present in the moment. It was hard. I found my thoughts distracted and my anxiety going to the list of things that I need to do with the upcoming move. It made it difficult to take in such a gorgeous day. But while I was sitting there, my thoughts also drifted to when I go to this restaurant 5 years ago. I had hopes and dreams. I dreamed of moving out on my own, owning my own little place by the coast, and being somewhat at peace with myself. And the truth is, today, in some form, this has come true.

I’ve had a hard time staying present in the moment and letting my anxiety get the best of me. It’s been a very trying few weeks. But today served as a reminder that I am going somewhere and that things are finally shaping up. Besides, the fish tacos were amazing.

I just need to to stay focused on the present a bit more rather than letting my anxiety get the better of me.